Equality is a hot topic of conversation right now, especially when it comes to parenthood. There are more dads who are single parents, more same-sex couples, more stay-at-home dads and more hands-on fathers than ever before. But society’s view of parental roles is seemingly stuck in the past. Child care is a woman’s responsibility. That’s according to dads across the UK who are campaigning for change – literally.
When venturing out with their little ones, having access to suitable baby changing facilities is understandably essential, but many are faced with the prospect of changing their child on a dirty floor or on a sink. It’s not that there aren’t baby changing tables. It’s that they are often in the lady’s toilets.
“I’ve had to change my daughter on the front seat of my car because there was literally nowhere to change her,” says Matthew McCarthy, a dad from Cardiff.
And he’s not alone. Tony Esposti, who is a campaigner, says: “I’ve had to change my son on bin lids before, in the boot of cars, squatting down and doing it on my lap and he’s a big kid.”
One of the current campaigns is led by Al Ferguson, the founder of TheDadsNet.com, who is calling on Costa, Caffè Nero and Starbucks to buck up their ideas and add changing tables to men’s toilets in their outlets across the UK. According to his change.org petition, which has over 65 thousand signatures, a fold-down changing table only costs £150 and takes up no extra space.
However, when contacted regarding this issue, Starbucks responded: “We only provide unisex toilets for customers in our stores across Britain, which all contain baby changing facilities.” Costa and Caffè Nero did not make a comment.
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Despite this, Ferguson says his overall goal is to get all outlets to provide facilities for both mums and dads and he’s not alone in his mission. Tony Esposti recently submitted a petition to the Welsh Assembly asking the Welsh government to bring in legislation ensuring that every new-build provides baby changing units accessible to all parents. It is now under review. “The dream goal would be that this is something like the 5p shopping bag which started in Wales and then it spread to Scotland and now it’s all over the UK. So I’m hoping that Wales can show that we’re at the forefront of these sorts of things and that we can trigger the rest of the UK,” says Esposti.
When #squatforchange went viral, this dad shared his baby changing frustrationshttps://t.co/JTC78aZaNp
— BBC Wales News (@BBCWalesNews) April 2, 2019
He was inspired by a similar campaign in the US led by Donte Palmer after a photo of him squatting on the floor, changing his son over his legs, went viral last year along with the hashtag #SquatForChange. They have managed to achieve legislation in New York, Baltimore and they are pushing a bill in Florida for all new Men’s and Woman’s restrooms to include baby changing tables. According to Palmer, there is still a long way to go. “We need to hold these establishments, these restaurants, internationally accountable and have this conversation,” he says. “It going to be a lot of work. I don’t think it’s a hard battle to fight, it’s just that we have to be persistent, consistent and we have to be willing to make ourselves known when it comes to being a parent.”
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But is this campaign just about accessing baby changing tables or does it reflect a wider much more ingrained societal imbalance? Professor Kaitlyn Regehr, who is a scholar of gender and culture, believes that the problem is widespread. “The UK is progressive in many ways with respect to gender equality,” she says. “But we really are behind on the role of fatherhood.”
“As trivial as the lack of a changing table in men’s toilets sounds, it actually has huge implications for the way that we delineate and distribute unpaid labour in our society,” says Regehr. “Through these seemingly small acts, we’re actually perpetuating these systemic gendered roles.”
According to the British Societal attitudes survey, support for traditional gender roles has declined from almost half of people in the mid-1980s holding the view that “a man’s job is to earn money; a woman’s job is to look after the home and the family” to 13% supporting this view in 2012. Yet by only providing access to baby changing facilities in female spaces, both men and women are literally being forced to comply with these gendered parental positions. “I don’t want to be someone that just relies on my wife to do everything with the baby,” says Tony Esposti.
Even the most common signage indicating baby changing facilities is that of a woman. “This woman, in what is essentially a fifties housewife dress, changing her baby is really not reflective of modern parenthood and it is precipitating this very heteronormative, binary idea of who can be a parent, and who has to be the primary parent,” says Regehr.
So should a policy be instigated regarding baby changing facilities to combat this apparent societal imbalance when it comes to parenthood? What do you think? Have you experienced this yourself as a parent? Comment below and let us know.
You can support Tony, Al and Donte’s campaigns by clicking the links below:
For Tony’s campaign click here
For Donte’s campaign click here
For Al’s campaign click here
Al Ferguson first investigated the lack of baby changing facilities accessible to dads 3 years ago. He made this video along with his son, Ted: